On social media and community
There was a time not too long ago when you could use the major social networking platforms as a way to stay in touch with old friends. I suppose that's still possible, theoretically. But after visiting some old friends recently, and catching up with them, I realized how little of their lives they choose to put online. I can contact them via Facebook Messenger, and perhaps see that we have mutual contacts (not 'friends', not really). But every single one of them has chosen to log off.
I am the same way. I don't think I've shared a photo or a life update on Facebook in over five years.
To be fair: there are a few independent forums that I still check, which were built around specific interests two decades ago. They lack the same incentive structures that plague larger social media platforms like Facebook. The forums (at least the ones that still exist) are still chugging along okay. But the bigger platforms (specifically those which encouraged you to migrate your "real world" social network online) are not doing well. Maybe there was a time when these platforms enhanced real-world connections, but that time is long past.
So I logged into Facebook today. It was a mistake. I saw maybe one post from an acquaintance, and a torrent of ads on the page.
Then I wandered over to Xitter -- another mistake. Pages and pages of bots and outrage bait. It is an open sewer.
The central thesis of this blog was once again affirmed: no matter who you are, you can go online and find entire communities dedicated to hating people just like you. And social media algorithms, for whatever reason, love to pipe those opinions into your feed.
To hell with all that.
I have a family member who never started a Facebook page. In that regard they are very unusual among millennials of my cohort. Now I think they had the right idea. Perhaps they knew something I did not.
I think we need to take some time to really think about what social media is doing for us, and what it is adding to our lives. Nothing good, it seems.
Instead I want to try to take more time enjoying my friends in the real world. Most of my old friends are married now, some have kids, and I am settling down myself. And my newer friends are eager to meet in person, and do things together, so long as one of us takes the initiative to make it happen.
So I have really good friends, some of whom I've known for years, who will be friends for life. I have a real community. For this, I am grateful. Do I really need Silicon Valley's help? Doubtful.